Sunday, October 24, 2010

Grin and bear it

Still homebound and shuffling slowly about the house. I had an acute bout with pain yesterday from the catheter which is the sort of pain that could make a person insane if it went on long enough. A never-ending, searing, toe curling pain that literally drove me to to tears for 10 minutes or more. It took a herculean effort not to just forcibly yank it out, though that pain would likely have made me pass out. And I'd just have to go to the emergency room to have it put back in again. Jen was here and i was reflecting in which is worse: to have such pain with an audience, or to be alone. Just 9 more days. This is more constant and specific pain than I've had at any point in this process, including chemo. I'm taking the maximum daily amount of my opiate painkillers, Tylenol, etc. My preference was be off them but it's just not possible at this point. Oddly, I feel only muscle stiffness from the incision (about the size and location of a C section scar) and some pain when first standing up or sitting down.

Nothing makes the catheter pain go away, it's with me 24/7. Though hopefully not as bad ever again as it was yesterday.

Tomorrow, Monday, I will call MCHA and make sure they got the fax from Friday. Karen at Gallagher mentioned there's nothing she can do to move the application along faster at MCHA, and she took the first part of next week off, anyhow. So I'm on my own with MCHA.

I feel like boredom *may* set in once/if the pain goes away, but the two are fairly incompatible.


Anonymous said...

So you wouldn't recommend extreme pain as a boredom antidote, then? That's a comfort.

But seriously, there isn't much that one person can say to another, even a father to a son, about pain. Extreme pain, that is. The little stuff can be ignored, the big stuff is always right there in your face. One thing to be thankful for (apart from having gotten the best medical care in the world) is that the pain is not somewhere inside your skull, like an earache, because that's where you live. At least, when it's a couple of feet away from the brain, it's sort of out there somewhere, and you might be able to distance yourself from it. Just a thought.




Cathy Crea said...

You may want to call your docs or nurses at St Marys to let them know you're having such bad pain. They will want to work with you to lessen it. Pain does not help your recovery. Pain sucks. I'm sorry you have so much of it.

Wendy said...

What Cathy said, especially if they believe that you should not be having this much pain. Something may be not so right. Check it out, Mr. Minnesota Nice man!


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