Saturday, August 06, 2011

Pain, Pain, Go Away

I have been in ever-increasing back pain since shortly after the biopsy. If untreated, this pain prevents me from sleeping and has had me near to tears on many occasions. The docs so far don't think that there is a link to the biopsy itself. I realize they're experts and all, but they did put two enormously long syringes in me, through muscles and deep inside my pelvis, skirting around all of the stuff that's in there.

There may be no connection at all, but I cannot overlook the possibility, personally. I went to see my General Practitioner Doc last week about the pain. He agreed that there might be a cause-and-effect thing going on with the biopsy, but couldn't be sure. He gave me a prescription for Vicodin. No, you can not have any. They are mine: all mine.

I am learning that this pain is the sort of thing that doesn't really surprise doctors then you have serious shit going on with your body. Severe back pain? Yawn.

I don't like popping highly addictive narcotics, and less so the idea that the pain may continue for the next several months and beyond if it is linked to the cancer.

I am afraid that before the year is out I may emulate a few of Dr. House's traits: cantankerous (I'm already that way, lately), addicted to painkillers (time will tell) and dependent on a cane. Oh, joy.


Emily said...

aaarghh, so sorry. thank heaven for vicodin. i'm glad you're going ahead with it despite your concerns.

i recommend two books you might be interested in: _the pain chronicles_ by melanie thernstrom and _in the realm of hungry ghosts_ by gabor mate. the first is about chronic pain and what pain is and why it's so damn hard to treat, and the second is about addiction and what addiction is and why it's so damn hard to treat.

is suspect that if you were inclined to develop a genuine addiction (as opposed to physical dependence, which is inevitable, fixable, and not at all evidence of a character flaw) you would have done so already after the first surgery. your impatience to get off the opiates last time ought to be a comfort to you this time.

Cathy Crea said...

Your nurses might be more helpful allies vs pain than your doctors. I would make darn sure every single one of them know how bad it is.

Re: Dr. House--but hey, brilliant! Let's hear it for brilliant!

Anonymous said...

--who isn't really anonymous but your dad --

While it's healthy to worry about addiction, it's not really an addiction if you only take the Vicodin for pain, and when the pain stops you lose interest in taking it.

Yes, I know, an addiction could play dirty and tell you that you're still feeling pain and therefore you need to keep feeding it, but that's something to keep an eye out for long term. In the meantime, if it hurts, it hurts.

M said...

It took a while but I finally at least figured out that the pain isn't serious, its annoying but manageable. They don't exactly know what it is, but they now seem to know what it isn't, which is good. Scored another Vicodin 'scrip so I'm good for another week at least. @Emily the books sound cool, I have not heard of them, will check them out. @Dad, I agree that it ought (in theory) be easy to stop taking them, and I hope it is! :)

Post a Comment