In general, Im feeling like I have the bends. I've never had the bends, but this is my idea of what they would be like. My joints and muscles ache, chest feels tight. I feel unsettled, restless. Fevers come and go. Having a hard time sleeping, even with Ambien. Nausea is slight yet constant.
Yesterday was perhaps the worst day yet as far as general malaise goes. Up until this point my biggest concern had been the nausea, which was fairly well controlled. I had been thinking, if need be I could easily do another round if they wanted. Yesterday I began thinking that I'm not sure if I would. Or at least, I'd likely have an anxiety attack as they're putting the needle in, knowing what was on the other side.
The nice thing is that hopefully this is it for the chemo. The tumor is shrinking (this is my intuition and observation talking). This will be confirmed by the CT, then we'll start talking about surgery. That will be adventure #2, about which I am trepidacious. I am likewise looking forward to getting through it all and looking back on this from the perspective of time. May not have much more to report until the CT scan on 9/7, as I should be steadily improving until then.
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6 comments:
I like the power of positive thinking attitude. Please let us know if you need help with anything or want company in your new house.
I'm glad you're staying positive. I need to, also. And thanks for the tip on Ucare. It compares favorably to Humana, my current HMO, which is being targeted by the Obamanoids. Docs are fleeing it as fast as they can. I can't sign up for a while yet. Meantime, let's do lunch somewhere near your house so I can see it after you're pretty much moved in.
--D
Trepidacious--wonderful word! Says volumes in 12 letters.
I'm happy you and Kaia both enjoy the house.
Sometime next week can I come over for coffee, some unpacking, and perhaps a talk about what you would like your yard to look like? If you want, I think I can organize a little yard transformation yet in September. Sorry the chemo is getting harder, but I know it's going to be over soon.
Rachael
You've been in my thoughts a lot, Michael. I'm glad to hear (from previous post) that the move has been a positive one, and that you and Kaia are enjoying the new house and yard. I've given some of TLSF tracks a listen, and think you sound great!! I hope that you continue to find strength and healing through family (Kaia included), friends, music, and all of the good things in life.
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