Captivity, Day 6

Its hard to believe that I've been in here at Abbott since Friday trying to nail down a solution to the pain situation.

I was also realizing last night that the pain is only a small piece of the puzzle. I had almost forgotten that I'm in the middle of Chemo, with another treatment scheduled tomorrow. The back pain has been extreme and -- at times -- all consuming -- but as it improves I also need to remind myself that I'm getting farther and farther from my most recent chemo treatment. In this way, two things are simultaneously improving: energy following chemo and mood as pain lessens.

Having Jen, Ray and Steve over to my (thankfully, finally, private room) last night, I realized I was feeling pretty good. The pain was gone, but also my energy had bounced back nicely from the chemo.

With chemo treatments once a week, my blood cell counts wil be back close to normal by the 7th day, at which time I get another treatment and they'll knock me down again. Again and again. Which is just how it goes.

So, in all, I'm feeling pretty damn good today. The pain seems manageable and my energy is climbing back to normal. In a way, this week-of-pain has distracted me nicely from the chemo, to the extent that it had gotten lost in the shuffle. As I was feeling like I had more energy last night and feeling like I wasn't really ready for sleep at about 10 or even 11, I forgot to factor in that I was also feeling more energy as my cell counts bounced back as well.

I am hopeful that I will get out today. I have chemo scheduled tomorrow (wednesday) and I'd like to have a chance to have a fairly normal evening at home (see Jen and see my dog, etc.) before the next cycle begins.

The Methadone appears to be controlling the pain well enough. the pain is probably sitting at a 1 or a 2 now. I just took my 3rd every-8-hours dose of the 'Done, and I'm intentionally waiting an extra hour before taking the Dylotid (which I could have taken anytime after 4 am. I'm trying to be scientific and separate the effects of each, rather than just automatically popping both as often as I can if they're unnecessary.Plus, the Dylotid makes me nauseous, and the 'Done doesn't. they both make me tired, I'm learning.

With the pain now seeming managed, I'm going to lobby heavily for getting out of here today. Ultimately, this is up to the palliative care (pain) docs, and I'm not sure when they're going to stop by today. The chemo treatment that I'm scheduled for tomorrow is just across the street (literally) and there may even be a skyway or subway. Or, since this is the oncology floor they may even be able to do it right here in my own room. But I'd rather sleep in my own bed tonight and make the 5-minute drive back tomorrow.

p.s. cold, fresh tofu spring rolls for breakfast are way better than anything the hospital has on the menu. You may disagree, but you'd be wrong. I'm just sayin'.