Friday (?!)

Has it only been one week since I got the biopsy results back and was told the Big News? Seems like a huge amount has happened since then.

Last night was difficult. I was out of Ambien and decided (partially for lack of other options) to try sleeping normally. Bad idea. I ended up laying awake until at least 3 am, then slept fitfully until about 8, waking up well before my alarm (set for 9). I was up at least 10 times during the night. Called Dr. Larry and got him to give me a scrip for another 30 Ambien first thing.

Sleep, it does a body good.

I have been getting notes from other Cancer Survivors that I know on FB with unusual little tidbits of advice, all of which are fascinating and helpful. I think this is the reason for support networks. People can pass the torch, so to speak, helping out other Brothers and Sisters with their own experiences, observations and revelations.

SL, a FB friend and Cancer Survivor, recommended that I take strong smelling cleaners, etc out of my house. This was interesting timing, since I had already started to realize the need for this. One of the questions Dr. Frodo (the current oncologist) asked me yesterday was whether smells bothered me now. I thought about it for a second and was surprised to find myself answering yes. When R and I were at the Apple store the other day I was overwhelmed by what smelled like some sort of new brand of Axe body spray gone very wrong: the entire genius bar smelled like armpit. Looking around, I eventually found the culprit: one suburban knowledge-seeker's unfortunate bag of leftovers from California Pizza Kitchen. I have also noticed that the last veggie delite sub I had from Subway (usually a reasonable, quick, healthy-ish option) tasted like bleach and chemicals to me. This morning, my toothpaste tasted incredibly strong and the smell of soap after my shower was not unpleasant but almost overwhelming, as if I was holding the bar of soap to my nose constantly. My dog's fur smells faintly like cologne or perfume, but not my cologne. Possibly I'm just smelling the last person other than me that petted her. Maybe she's seeing someone else on the side.

I have been working the phones again this morning. I have decided to go ahead and schedule the surgery with Dr. Ungawa for the week of the 5th, if possible. I haven't met with Mayo but even if Dr. Hunter recommends someone else, I need to get on the schedule with Dr. Ungawa. The procedure is a 2-surgeon procedure so scheduling is tricky. I also need to get blood tests done at Dr. Larry's office today (CBC, LDH, possibly one more), pick up the Ambien from the pharmacy, meet with my brother, and then I want to see J tonight before she heads out of town tomorrow morning for a week-long trip that has been planned for nearly a year.

Despite all of this drama going on, the 4th of July weekend will be happy, social, and filled with gigs. If all goes as planned, I'll be in surgery on Monday or Tuesday, July 5th or 6th, so I'm living it up while I'm still at 100%. We are playing on Thursday (mostly likely, still to be confirmed) in Stillwater, and on Friday, Saturday and Sunday at CONvergence.

I haven't really talked about my trial in Boulder, which is scheduled for mid-July. This is the long-awaited (5 years) lawsuit against the dude that hit me on my motorcycle in 2005. I may be still recovering from my surgery when I fly out for that. Either one of these things would be enough excitement for the summer, but to have them both hit the fan in the same month is a little much.

Oncologistics

So I met with the oncologist today. Actually I don't know if it's *the* oncologist, this was just the first doc that could fit me in on 24 hours notice. I may have another, long-term.

Going into an Oncologist's office is a bit of a downer, as you might imagine. People are pale, quiet, tired-looking. No doctor's office is a happy place, but this is downright moribund. You can tell that the staff are pretty numb to serious illnesses, since that's all they see all day, every day. Tell them you have pain, nauseua, bleeding, loss of appetite and they'll just make a note of it and wait to see if you're going to list anything else. They've seen it all before. They care, of course: but you won't shock them with this the way you might with your primary care physician.

The place is huge and mazelike. All that Edina has to offer with calming art and many, many treatment rooms. I got lost finding the bathroom, and then again on the way back, and then again on the way out.

So anyhow, the oncologist: he's middle eastern, youngish, quiet. Seems like he's mainly just absorbing information from me at this point. I'll call him Dr. Frodo. Mostly just because its a comforting image rather than from any overt resemblance. He is kinda short, though. And I suspect that he may have hairy feet.

We asked all of our questions and had them answered. How much chemotherapy? (4 rounds: 2 weeks on, 1 week off, treatments to take up to 6 hours each). When would chemotherapy start? (About 2 weeks after the surgery). What drugs would be used? (He told me and my mother wrote it down, but I can't remember - perhaps she can fill in the blanks here). Will I lose my hair? (most likely yes, with this type of chemotherapy). Will I have enough energy to work? (Maybe, it depends largely on how nauseated I am during the chemotherapy: anti-nausea drugs can wipe you out). What stage am I at? ("at least stage II, we'll know more after the surgery"). Will there be a PET scan? (Yes, if insurance covers it). When should the surgery be? (Within a few weeks, though a few weeks more won't make a huge difference).

So: surgery within a few weeks, recover for a few weeks, then about 3 months of chemotherapy. Best scenario, that's the end of it except for checks and scans for 5 years or more. It sucks, but is doable.

I got some cool brochures and numbers of financial and support people.

Lots of stuff to look through. Another tiring day but at least there's really only one more appointment (at Mayo on Monday) before I get in to the Decision Making phase.

Oh, and the cost of my Mayo deposit has been covered, now. This was surprising and huge. Thanks so much, K and C. I truly appreciate it. You are amazing.