Back On the Air

I haven't written to this blog at all in a few months. Mostly because I have enjoyed *not* having things to talk/complain/vent about related to the cancer. People recommended that I post some sort of closure and I just never really got around to it, or never really knew what to say, or perhaps the matter never really felt closed. Its still a worry for me that it will come back. I still wear my yellow "Cancer Sucks" wristband as a daily reminder to myself. It helps me to not take things for granted anymore.

These days I'm feeling normal (whatever that is). Physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm in good spirits and have been traveling. I'm back in school, back at work and back at the gym. My hair is coming back in, though a little different than before. I decided to leave my earrings out (they took them out when I did the CT at Mayo) and decided to wear my sideburns a little shorter. I also shaved off my soul patch, since I kept seeing it in recent photos of me and it was bugging me looking at it. It had its day.

The entire Cancer thing has mostly been on the back-burner, honestly. Gone but not forgotten. Tomorrow, Friday, I head down to Mayo with my mom for my first 3-month checkup. I'll be poked and prodded, bled and bruised, and will even have to go through a claustrophobic MRI, but won't actually have the results until the next week. I feel fairly sure that I'll get a good result, but there is still the worry. THis will be a fairly key checkup: if the cancer has come back I may be in Chemo again within a week and/or talking about more surgery soon. If it came back, It would mean that it is indeed a highly aggressive cancer. But since they're as sure as they can be that they got all of it in the surgery, it will mostly likely be a negative scan. As reassured as I can possibly be at this point, I'm still allowed to worry a little, I think.

I'll post more when I get the results.