tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post167546284080971305..comments2023-04-27T10:09:48.888-05:00Comments on The Unintentional Expert: YearsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-65414203181426362532011-08-30T20:38:18.413-05:002011-08-30T20:38:18.413-05:00What John and Cathy said, minus the stuff about th...What John and Cathy said, minus the stuff about the gaming. You get to feel what you feel! You need positive thoughts to get through the process, and I hope you will lean on those who love you to help when you feel down. But if you want to rage against the darkness I am here to listen to that too.<br /><br />RachaelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-19770435887449158922011-08-25T01:02:42.842-05:002011-08-25T01:02:42.842-05:00Years become decades.Years become decades.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-10554640419425574902011-08-22T20:32:49.196-05:002011-08-22T20:32:49.196-05:00People who say, "well, you could get hit by a...People who say, "well, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow!" aren't living where you and I are. They can't imagine it no matter how hard they try because their brains won't let them stay on the subject for long. We, on the other hand, have a hard time not thinking about the threats we face. Something will always bring it back to mind. Every time I do an activity I love, I think about what it would be like to not be able to do it ever again. When I feel the warmth of the sun or the relief of a breeze on my body, I think, what if I lose the ability to feel that? When I hug my husband or son or others I love, what if I can't do that anymore? People who don't have this threat don't have to deal with the constant thoughts. I know enough to know that I don't know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I'm willing to listen if you want to talk. I am praying for your healing and many people who know me are praying for you also, because I've asked them to. Prayer is powerful.Deborah in MNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17306746503482100163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-53385976196474394352011-08-20T01:15:59.547-05:002011-08-20T01:15:59.547-05:00To my son, Michael,
I recognize that you are the ...To my son, Michael,<br /><br />I recognize that you are the one who is walking this very scary walk, but we who love you are also very scared. We do not want to lose you. The very idea feels like a knife in the heart.<br /><br />Your importance means that we can't separate our worries from yours, whether we say it aloud or not, our minds are chewing over these same questions. I know we will not suffer the actual pain of chemo or cancer, but yet we will suffer pain, because you do.<br /><br />Because we love you we are linked to you on this journey. Please know that if you are discouraged or scared or lonely that there are many, like me, that have you constantly on their minds who would be very happy if you were to call at any time and say "I need you".<br /><br />Love, Mom<br /><br />P.S. I am sad and I am terrified but I also believe that you will have many good years ahead, that the chemo will work, and that you will have happiness.Eclector2https://www.blogger.com/profile/02388402098315119840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-60381343553023641682011-08-20T00:35:54.731-05:002011-08-20T00:35:54.731-05:00I have a copy of that book - got it when you first...I have a copy of that book - got it when you first got diagnosed. The first half turned out to be about something else; stopped reading it when you were looking like you were going to stay cancer free.<br /><br />I will see if I can dig it out again! I remember she railed hard against the people who criticized the cancer patients for being sad or mad or angry. They wanted to keep you positive because it's easier for them, Ehrenreich felt. That if it's 'positive image, chipper happy all the time' then they don't have to deal with you, say, freaking out because your death could be way soon. Which if it was me, I'd be freaked!<br /><br />But developing a positive support structure in your mind and with your support people is absolutely important. Going into your chemo thinking that there is a chance could be very positive to keeping your spirits up during that time, whether or not it has shit-all difference on efficiency of the treatment. (Which I remember Ehrenreich also saying that the people who say 'folks with positive attitudes heal better, everyone knows, studies all show that' are actually not right.)<br /><br />It was fun playing Arkham with you tonight! This recurrence of cancer diagnosis is like getting cursed - you need to roll sixes now. But the chemo gives you plus three, and if you maintain your sanity points above five, and get the 'maintaining mental health and networks' spell, that's another plus three. So that's six d6. <br /><br />Might be a longer shot than you want, but still do-able.<br /><br />Love! <br /><br />Johnnihilixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15691088452330563478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-35530979028726195512011-08-19T19:42:15.856-05:002011-08-19T19:42:15.856-05:00Barbara Ehernreich wrote a book about the damage o...Barbara Ehernreich wrote a book about the damage our faith in positive thinking can do. (Essentially, saying what you've said--that if only you had thought positively enough! Now it's your fault! Ouch.) Might be worth checking out. http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/brightsided.htmCathy Creahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18407102230512845746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-2476839005936442252011-08-19T18:57:28.931-05:002011-08-19T18:57:28.931-05:00For the positive side, there's the fact that n...For the positive side, there's the fact that new treatments are being developed all the time - perhaps a cure is years, not decades, away.Nickhttp://facebook.com/nrezmerskinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-59660157763998508332011-08-19T17:11:59.558-05:002011-08-19T17:11:59.558-05:00@ Emily: I tend to agree, and I have already blame...@ Emily: I tend to agree, and I have already blamed myself for being responsible for the disease's return. Possibly I could have tried harder at thinking positively. Or something like that. But I do think that if I were to decide that Its all over with and hopeless, I think that reality would manifest itself! Or Maybe not! The problem with statistical probabilities that the doctors give is that they're all functionally bunk: I will either outlive the estimates or I will not. Round and round she goes; where she stops, nobody knows! @Dad, I certainly hope so!Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02843280160505440822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-62863365244748683882011-08-19T16:06:49.746-05:002011-08-19T16:06:49.746-05:00Part of the problem with people not knowing what t...Part of the problem with people not knowing what to say is this very huge fact sitting squarely in the middle of the road. It's like the famous, "Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?" <br /><br />You've always been extremely resourceful, so you will find a way to overcome the conversational awakwardnesses. <br /><br />I think -- and it's not just hope talking -- that this will turn out better than your worst fears. <br /><br />--DadAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5029129453140655773.post-32709148166710959302011-08-19T15:24:20.479-05:002011-08-19T15:24:20.479-05:00andrew weil is right, but beware the biggest pitfa...andrew weil is right, but beware the biggest pitfall of that philosophy: if things go badly, it doesn't mean it's your fault because you had the wrong attitude. it just means things went badly.Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00000746941677781925noreply@blogger.com